a coding nagger's blog

My name is Jean-Dominique Nguele and this is my blog. FLVCTVAT NEC MERGITVR

Tag Archives: poetry

No more, Bugs Funny, no more

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Have I ever told you about that annoying Bugs Funny?
Bothered me day and night from his irritating company.
And another day and another night, yet again another one,
Thinking I had nothing better to do, no joy, no life, no plan.

Sneaking in my code when I was all chill and compiling,
His exception traces eyeing at me seem almost smiling.
Even mocking, it doesn’t matter how hard I have studied,
As for next few days he will torture, get my brain crippled.

Burned in its light, blind to its weak spot, feeling hopeless,
I keep browsing StackOverflow with Redbull and stress.
It aches in every bone, my date nights and parties gone,
Bugs look at me, trick me, slap me. Show me mercy? None.

Really unfair you know, not one bug should have all that power,
Emprison, break my mind, haunt from the kitchen to the shower.
Drinking my misery when suddenly I remember, flabbergasted,
I inadvertently turned a comparison to an assignation, damned!

Run my program again as I get closer and closer to the rise of dawn,
I finally got rid of Bugs Funny, indeed now he’s dead and gone.
When I squashed it I wondered why I was so numb, so dumb,
More than ever I was so close to cry, beg, call for my mum.

Rest my head now I will, not ever rest on my success I shall,
Because his brothers are lurking in the shadows, right behind the wall.
Waiting for my vigilance to fall, letting room for them to spawn,
My testing shall betray them and help eradicating them in a yawn.

I will be the watcher on that wall, protector of my software,
None shall corrupt it with uncovered logic, noobs beware!
It will not be easy but a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do,
I shall head to the bar for a few drinks without any further ado.

I got pretty inspired as I wrote two of these over 24 hours between Monday and Tuesday where the first one was a month ago. Thanks for reading again, if you missed the last one you can also have a look there. I see that “Poetry time!” is quite popular on here so I’ll definitely write more tech-ish poems in the future. Thanks again for reading guys!

Mister Ozymandie: A song of dice and dire

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Tick, tick, tick look at me it’s Mister Ozymandie,
Once more bringing, no, inflicting my opinion upon thee.
Whatever the effort, the time you put in your source,
My remarks, of your good day will disrupt the course.

No matter how close you were to a merge
It is time for me to compare with yours my verge.
I am the biggest, the best, better than the rest
The victim you will be of my self-esteem quest.

Whether right or wrong my assurance won’t fail
Poker facing you, hoping your knowledge frail.
Always trumping around like there is no tomorrow
Still making up shit when my mastery is shallow.

Even if you manage to see through my gambling
All day, every day, I will keep them dices rolling.
Although you call it perversion, it is my perfection
I know you see me as a pain, worse, a diversion.

It doesn’t matter what you think, it is my ship,
None shall questions my conduct, like dictatorship.
Become one for all, always know that all is for me,
Your personal judgement here has no place to be.

Line after line, block after block, thought after thought,
I shall erase your experience, everything you brought.
Indeed, I will not stop until all aspects of my glorious vision,
Sink deep in your mind, make the past you aversion.

For that I am the star on the hailed Christmas tree,
For that others forced the same behaviour on me.
Even though this might be to your growth toxic,
Above all, my ego, my satisfaction is what I pick.

Even if you’re right and I am turning value to churn
And someday for my crimes one makes me burn.
I just want one thing, that you dance on my symphony
Myself throning in development pantheons for eternity.

Because it’s me Mister Ozymandie. All! Look at me!
On the humanity commit history, my mark will be.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing. I guess that now writing poems on that blog is a thing now. If you haven’t read the previous one you can check it out clicking here.

Monster release, you’re welcome – Poetry time

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I like to write poems sometimes, even though I didn’t in ages. Also, I think I never posted any here. I hope you enjoy it,  please note that any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Once upon a time a project manager
Decided to venture in a zone of danger
Little did he know was going to trigger a monster
Due to choices that none should ever foster
Because planning is not his comfort zone
He had to come deal with me like Al’ Capone
So that I deploy things with care for the ram,
And have them all set and done before 12 am
So there I went after eating some sweet and sour
With no idea on how the hell I’ll save the hour
Simply diving in the project “à la bite et au couteau”
Hoping we were careful with our tests and big O.

Let DJ Khaled provide beats for my theme music
Keyboard clacking, things working, it’s almost magic
Configuring this, merging that, surprise, here’s Murphy
Go away, I don’t have time for such a lack of empathy
Sneaky issues jumping in like the body snatchers
I had to unleash a monster so that I can bury those naggers
But you bastard insist on providing me company
Of rage, the monstrous herald you made me, oh irony
Behold people! For that the animal I have become
Will send you straight to the skirts of your mom
Then you will get confused and wonder “what have I done?”
Too late, the end is near, for now my lock is gone.

Murphy tried to reign like the Lord of Castamere.
But now the rains weep on his walls, and not a soul to hear.
It did take quite long to dispose of that rude enemy
Still I wiped out issues and bugs at once with a fierce envy
Oh manager, you didn’t have to summon that vanguard
Hear me out, planning ahead cannot be this hard
So that next time we can work with quiet and ease
And not wreak havoc next time there is a release
Hope you will survive that monster’s next rampage
When looking for heroes again we open the cage
Let God preserves us or its return shall be gruesome
But now I locked it back, sit down, you’re welcome